Mental Health

7 Ways to Support a Depressed Partner

You may feel powerless if your spouse suffers from depression, but there are ways you may support a depressed loved one.

Being a spectator as a spouse battles depression might seem powerless. You may be perplexed, annoyed, and overwhelmed. You may believe that every effort you make to “assist” your spouse is either rejected or, worse, disregarded. You could even start to feel responsible for your partner’s sadness. You are not alone yourself.


Depression is an isolating condition that may harm relationships and leave loved ones feeling powerless and fearful.

Major depression’s mood is frequently described as gloomy, hopeless, discouraged, or down, but it can also contain persistent anger. It is typical to have angry outbursts and to blame others. Social detachment and a lack of interest or pleasure are prominent symptoms of depression. Family members note that sad persons no longer appear to care about obtaining joy.


All of these variables might make determining how to assist a sad partner challenging. However, your assistance is critical. You cannot cure your partner’s depression, but you may assist them in their recovery.


Discover More About Depression
While a period of at least two weeks of sad mood or lack of interest or pleasure is required for major depressive disorder, depression is not a static condition. People suffering from depression may have really excellent days, even a few good days in a row, only to return to a profoundly gloomy state. Depression has an ebb and flow that loved ones don’t always understand.

The following symptoms are associated with depression:

  • Sadness, tearfulness, or a sense of hopelessness
  • Appetite changes (including weight gain or loss)
  • Sleep deprivation (sleeping too much or too little)
  • Loss of enjoyment or interest in normal activities
  • Fatigue (even little chores might demand more time) (even small tasks can require extra time)
  • Fear or agitation
  • Outbursts of rage
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt (including ruminating on past events)
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, or making decisions
  • Frequent thoughts of death, including suicidal thoughts
  • Unexplained physical symptoms

Understanding the condition is a vital first step in assisting your spouse. Depression symptoms can vary and evolve over time. You may absolutely learn more about depression by reading about it or consulting a professional, but the best approach to understanding how your spouse feels about depression is to ask open-ended questions and listen empathically.

Be Present, always there to support

You may believe that the greatest approach to help is to seek out the best available therapy in your region, join support groups, or speak with other people dealing with depression to see what “works,” but frequently the best thing you can do for your spouse is simply showing there.


You may not have all of the answers, which is fine, but what you can do is sit and listen. You may be present by holding your partner’s hand, giving hugs, and being present. You can answer with words of encouragement:

  • “Please let me know what I can do to assist.”
  • “You are significant to me.”
  • “I am here to help you.”
  • “We’re going to get through this together.”


Encourage Treatment
Many persons with depression have symptoms severe enough to interfere with everyday activities such as jobs, school, social activities, or relationships. Others, on the other hand, may be unaware that they are sad. They may be unaware of the indications of depression and believe that their feelings are simply something they must deal with.

People frequently believe that they simply need to wish themselves better, yet depression seldom improves without therapy. You may assist your partner by promoting therapy and attending appointments.


  • Assist your spouse in considering therapy by doing the following:
  • Please describe the symptoms you’ve seen.
  • Express your dissatisfaction
  • Declare your readiness to assist, including scheduling and preparing for appointments.
  • Discuss your knowledge about depression.
  • Discuss treatment alternatives such as counseling, medication, and lifestyle modifications.


Make Your Home a Friendly Place
It’s critical to realize that your partner’s sadness is not your responsibility. While you cannot change anything, your support will assist your spouse in getting through this tough period.

During the therapeutic process, changes in lifestyle can make a significant effect. Depressed people may find it challenging to make healthy decisions since depression saps their energy and interferes with their sleep and eating. You may assist by:

Concentrate on eating healthily. Encourage better eating choices by getting your partner engaged in meal planning and cooking.

Exercise in groups. Exercise on a daily basis might improve your mood. Plan a regular walk or bike ride to motivate you to get back into shape.

Assist your spouse in sticking to the treatment plan. Drive to appointments together and sit in the waiting room whenever feasible. In the beginning, psychotherapy can be emotionally draining. Having aid is beneficial.

Create a stress-free environment. Routines can help people who are sad feel more in control of their life. Consider making a regular plan for meals, medications, and household duties.


Make plans as a group

Depression can make it difficult to enjoy joyful activities. As a result, sad persons may shun social engagements. Make a weekly movie date, go on a stroll, or even play board games. Begin small to assist your loved one in resuming socialization.

Give favorable feedback. When individuals are hopeless, they tend to be severe on themselves. To assist your partner to perceive growth, highlight your spouse’s strengths and places for development.


Concentrate on Small Goals
Depression may be quite overpowering. When someone is seriously depressed, simply getting out of bed might feel like an impossible chore.

You may assist your spouse by defining and recognizing minor goals and everyday accomplishments. Breaking down bigger chores (such as applying for new employment) into smaller ones (such as updating resumes, writing cover letters, and researching potential positions) might assist your spouse in taking baby steps toward returning to normal daily activities. Focus on getting out of bed, taking a shower, and eating a nutritious meal for folks who struggle to get out of bed every day.

Your spouse will most likely recover with treatment, but you will need to be patient and empathetic while dealing with a depressed episode.

Understand the Suicide Warning Signs
Suicide is always more likely during a serious depressive episode. It is critical to recognize the warning signs and seek quick medical attention:

  • Suicide discussion
  • acquiring a method of suicide, such as buying a gun or collecting drugs
  • Extreme emotional swings—extremely happy one day, profoundly depressed the next.
  • Social isolation
  • Preoccupied with death-related ideas
  • Changes in usual daily practices that are noticeable
  • Feeling hopeless and overwhelmed
  • Risky, self-destructive conduct, such as drug or alcohol misuse or reckless driving
  • Giving up possessions
  • Bidding farewell
  • Putting everything in order
  • Personality transformations

Caring for a depressed partner is emotionally draining for the caregiver. During this period, it is critical to exercise self-care and expand your personal support network.


Signs That Your Partner Is Depressed
Depression may lead a person to lose interest in both people and hobbies. It might also lead to a lack of motivation. Depression has an effect on almost every aspect of life, including sleep patterns, eating habits, job or education, cleanliness, socialization, self-worth, and relationships.

While it is critical to have a doctor or qualified mental health professional identify and treat depression, you may be the first to recognize signs in your spouse. Get help right once if your spouse has suicidal thoughts.


Be an Effective Active Listener
It may be difficult to sit back and listen when all you want to do is help, but your partner prefers that you be supportive rather than in control. Try the following active listening techniques:

  • Be completely present when communicating. Set your devices aside and make time to listen.
  • Use nonverbal cues like nodding, eye contact, and leaning in to show that you’re paying attention.
  • Take into account what you’ve heard and ask follow-up inquiries.
  • Empathetic replies include saying things such as, “That sounds difficult,” or “I can see why you’re struggling right now.”
  • Withhold your thoughts and recommendations.

How to Handle Conflict with a Depressed Partner
Depression and relationship conflict can coexist in a cyclical fashion since despair can create irritation, furious outbursts, and isolation from loved ones, but relationship difficulty can also cause depression. The two are intertwined.

Caring for and living with someone who is depressed can be emotionally draining, but there are actions you can do to work through the issues and avoid confrontation.

Create clear, healthy communication habits. When dealing with complicated mental health concerns, transparency is critical. Daily emotion check-ins that concentrate on feelings and triggers create transparency and normalize discussing feelings and symptoms. It also aids in the establishment of distinct boundaries. Say so if you need a break. Holding down your own needs in order to care for your spouse will result in anger and empathy fatigue.

Plans for self-care are vital. Both couples require regular self-care routines to maintain stress levels as low as possible. Your plan should include how and where you will receive assistance, daily exercise that will provide you with energy, time away from giving care, and hobbies that will provide you with emotional distance from your caring role.


Take a breather

Even when you’re practicing self-care and respecting each other’s limits, conflict may sneak up on you. It is OK to halt a fight in order to distance yourself from the rage and irritation. Make an understanding that if one spouse calls a halt, it is time to shift gears and conduct a needs assessment to see how both partners can work through the issue in a calm and productive manner.

What If My Partner Denies Suffering From Depression?
When one partner in a relationship suffers from depression, the suffering becomes shared. When the depressed partner denies having depression, the situation becomes even more complicated.

Depression denial can occur for a variety of causes, including:

They don’t believe anything is wrong.


Lack of awareness regarding symptoms – many symptoms, such as weariness, headaches, and gastrointestinal distress, coincide with what individuals consider medical symptoms.

They’re exhausted and don’t want to talk about it.

They are depressed and see no way to improve their situation.

They are operating normally enough that they do not believe they are depressed.

They justify their symptoms as regular adult ups and downs.

How to Approach Your Partner for Assistance
First and foremost, prioritize your self-care. When you’re out of gas, it’s very tough to aid someone else.

Second, prioritize assisting above correcting. Consider the following:


Inform yourself. Books, publications, and even your own treatment can be helpful as you learn to negotiate your supporting position.


Inquire with your spouse about how you can best assist them. What do they need to feel supported?


Offer to seek therapy together to work through this difficult time.


Reinforce that you are a team and you will support your partner through this.


Reach out to close friends and family for additional support.


Relationship Effects of Depression
Depression may have a detrimental impact on relationships by causing conflict, disengagement, and poor communication. One of the partners may feel lonely and alone. If the depressed partner is in a bad mood, the other partner may be concerned about their general well-being. Melancholy also has an impact on everything from job to socializing to sexual desire, so the effects of depression in relationships extend beyond a bad mood. Depression may have an impact on both financial stability and employment.

Given the complexities of depression and the numerous ways it impacts both couples, it’s critical to find networks of support to assist both partners in working through it together.


Hassan Rajput

Hi! I am Hassan - a blogger. I write on assorted subjects, not limiting just to one specific niche. You will find on this website diverse topics coveraging Fashion, Tech, Health, Academic Essays and Journals, Lifestyle, Political and Lifestyle Blogs and a volley of other important topics. You will find highly-relevant and top-class essaya. Hope this will help you.

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